July 1st is Canada Day!

In celebration of this holiday, I would like to offer up this song of tribute to our Northern Neighbors.

Listen to the Canada Song!

– With all due credits going to Mike, Tom Servo, Crow, and the rest of the gang from Mystery Science Theater 3000, up on the Satellite of Love!

Lyrics to the Canada Song
[Opening Dialogue]
Mike Nelson: And then the drunk guy says ‘I can’t help being an idiot. I’m Canadian!’
Crow T Robot: (laughing) You’re right! They’re so pathetic, Mike.
Tom Servo: (Arrives, dressed in a Canadian Mounties uniform and blowing loudly on a whistle) Enough! There’s been too much Canada bashing for far too long. I say, No More!
Mike: Don’t you mean: ‘No more, eh.’
Crow: Good one man! They are so stupid
Tom Servo: Stop it now! Instead, let us offer our northern brothers and sisters this song of tribute. . .

[Music Starts]
Tom Servo: (singing)
Oh, I wish I was back, in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon.
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
and the Beauty that is Sasquatoon.

Mike Nelson: (singing)
Oh I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur.
As he scraped and he chiseled all the moose-dung off his boot,
I would learn that he’s the Prime Minister

Tom Servo: (interjecting) Oh stop that!

Crow: (singing)
Oh I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alannis Morrisette, Mike Meyers too.
No I take that back I wouldn’t go there even if you paid me,
Oh Canada you’re a place I must eschew.

[the music continues in the background as the dialog resumes]

Tom Servo: Now, this is not in the spirit that I intended.
Mike: Oh, come on, give in. I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock. And Rush.
Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They’re such feebs.
Tom Servo: Okay, i’ll try. . .
Mike: Good man!

Tom Servo: (singing)
Oh I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward island,
Going on to bomb Ontario
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture
Is by far my favorite scenario.

Mike: (interjecting with a worried look) Okay, that’s a little strong. You might want to back it down.
Tom Servo: (excitedly talking) No no! you were right, Mike. This is much more fun!

Tom Servo: (singing)
Just where the Hell does Canada get off sharing a border,
With countries far superior to it.
Why you lousy stinking francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country’s just a giant piece of sh. . .

(is cut off by Mike and Crow before he can finish)

Crow: Whoa whoa WHOA!
Mike: Okay, I think thats enough, I think we punched it. Cambot? Okay, thanks.
Tom Servo: (openly weeping) I’m sorry! I have no sense of proportion; I’m a disgrace to my uniform (cries)
Mike: no no, its that’s okay now calm down. Mustn’t hate. . . Mustn’t hate.
Crow: At least so overtly
Mike: Exactly right. Must disquise our hate, just a little. We’ll be right back. Shh, Shh. It’s okay now Dudley
Tom: Pardonnez-moi! Paronnez-moi!