In keeping with the theme of this week’s symposium, I give you. . .

Hell Yeah

The Bloodhound Gang

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus. Thou shall not make a Speed 2
If I were God that’s what I’d do. . .

Heavens no; Hell Yeah. . .

If I were God I’d get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin, thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins. Thou shall not cut Footloose
If I were God that’s what I’d do. . .

Heavens no; Hell Yeah. . .

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I’ll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name “hey-suess” and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh “hey-suess” can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they’re beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! I’ll sing as I’m flogged
Yeah that’s what I would do if I were God

So vote for me for Savior and you’ll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in Seven
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can’t teach an old God new tricks

But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don’t believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy “holier than thou” facade
Yeah that’s what I would do if I were God