I cannot believe this crap!

For weeks we have been looking into the purchase of a manufactured home in a small mobile home park here. One of our concerns with moving into a trailer park (besides the whole “trailer trash” rep that comes with it) was our pets. Many Parks don’t like dogs or cats or rabbits or humpty-back-camels, or whatever. . .

. . . so we ask the Lady about our pets — 1 dog, 3 cats. The lady says “No problem”

A couple of weeks go by. We pick out a home we like, we pick out the designs, rugs, wall-coverings, toilet seats. .. everything. All the while, the lady we are working with knows full well how many cats and dogs we have. We talk about how much we appreciate the park, and how much we like being able to bring our pets along. She agrees. Its a nice park with loose restrictions.

Then we meet the Lady’s “manager” to sign some paperwork. We’ll call this guy Bark Maldwin (not his real name). Bark is handsome, well-groomed and tan. When I say tan, I am talking TAN, the kind of tan that you don’t get in New England. He has the kind of tan that only those who winter in Florida can get. This fact will become important later.

Anyway, I notice as we are signing paperwork that there is a clause about Pets. I read it, and it basically says “Absolutely No Pets!” So I raise my left eyebrow and say “huh!?”

Bark and the Lady both assure me that it isn’t a problem. We can have our pets. I wipe my brow and sign everything, happy with the new house, the park, the lot, and the ability to keep my loving animals.

A week later I get a call from Bark Maldwin: “Hey, we have a problem with your animals. Park rules state that you can only have one pet. The main office won’t approve your Park application unless you get rid of all but one of your pets.” I say “Huh!? You said we could have our pets!”

Bark says, “Yeah, but my dad won’t approve your application unless you agree to only have one pet.”

His DAD!? This guy is about 35. . . he has to ask his dad for permission?

So, after failing to convince Bark Maldwin that he had essentially wasted 3 weeks of time that could have been spent applying to a different trailer park (you know, one that, say, ALLOWS pets), I go to the Better Business Bureau website and, after much research, I find the name of this company that owns the trailer park: Maldwin & Frump.

Maldwin? Hrm. I call the head office and ask about this trailer park. The woman seems at a loss. It seems Maldwin & Frump own thousands of trailer parks all over New England. I’ll have to be more specific than “the trailer park”. Wow! These guys are huge! I’ll bet both Mr. Maldwin and Mr. Frump are incredibly wealthy.

“So,” I say to the receptionist, “The Maldwin in Maldwin & Frump – that must be Bark Maldwin’s dad, hrm?”

“Yes” she says.

Now it all comes together! Bark Maldwin, child of wealth and privelidge, spending his winters in Florida (or in a tanning booth). Probably never went to college, or dropped out if he did, and got a juicy job from daddy. He’s not very good at his job, of course, which is why he isn’t allowed to make decisions about small, domesticated animals.

So, will he take it like a man? Will he say “Well, gee, I DID say you could have your pets. . . it would be wrong for us to deny them to you after you’ve put so much time and effort into this. . . and after all, they’re only indoor cats. Its not like you’re bringing a giraffe into the park. . . So i’ll bite the bullet and make this an exception.”

No, of course not. He has to make daddy happy. So instead he waffles and whines, explains that it isn’t his decision (even though he IS the manager of the park — he’s apparently one of those non-decision-making managers, doncha know), and leaves us out to dry. Verbal Contract? Never heard of it.

Oh yeah, while Bark is claiming repeatedly that the park rules state “Only one pet allowed” I recall distincly that the rules say “No Pets Allowed!” I point this out to him. He says “Oh, that must have been a different version of the rules.” I ask him that, since there are different versions of the rules, if he can make a version that allows for 1 dog and 3 cats. He declines: “I have to ask my dad.”

So now we wait for Bark to ask daddy if he can change the rules for us. I’m sure he won’t mention the verbal promise that both he and his lady agent made to us – Daddy might take away his vacation home in Florida if he did that!

Stay tuned. . .